Rule Britannia

One question has been uppermost in my mind today: how did Britain ever manage to rule the world?

This is not the first time that I find myself pondering this. As I observe the seemingly unstoppable meteoric rise of mediocrities around me, I am compelled to think about the state of Britain as a whole and how it manages to coast along in this age of globalization and fierce competition.

Mediocrity is the key word when one thinks about modern Britain, a country that is best described as a "mediocracy", as opposed to a meritocracy.

The "mediocrat" can be seen in almost every nook and cranny of the British "Establishment", from local and central government, to the media and the police. He (or she) is vertically and horizontally pervasive, so you will find him on the shop floor as well as in middle and senior management.

The British mediocrat is easily recognizable through his incompetence, his ineptitude and his indifference to his customers and/or staff.

Your typical British mediocrat will be socialy inadequate, and this will be manifested in a variety of ways, including aggression, rudeness and heavy drinking.

Those who rely on the British mediocrat to supply a service will be left angry, frustrated and despondent. And those who must work with him will have a choice of either stooping to his level of incompetence or else be dumped upon with tasks which, if successful, he will claim credit for, and if not, he will be only too willing to blame others. Evasion of responsibility, "passing the buck" and hiding out of sight in his office are among his operational traits.

The British mediocrat is omnipotent and self-perpetuating. However, in contrast to an invertebrate creature that reproduces asexually, each cycle of mediocratic reproduction takes place with evolution in reverse, so each new generation of mediocrats is actually more retarded than its predecessor. That is how the British mediocrat protects himself against those who might challenge him or rock his boat.

Where does all this leave Britain? The answer is clear to anyone who works in, or has had any dealings with, corporate Britain, whether public or private. Stripped of its illusions of grandeur, it is a second-rate power which, in a generation or so, will be well on its way to being a third- or even fourth-rate appendage of a superior patron state.